Lessons from Mandurah and Mum:
Living with your parents when you are an adult:
Initially, it was a bit of an adjustment staying with Mum for three weeks. The last time I lived with my parents when I was in my late teens, just before leaving for University in Perth. Now I am nearly 40 and Mum turned 80 last year.
Turning out like your parents:
It’s funny how you think you are way different from your parents but living with them highlights the similarities. My Mum is a big worry wort. She worries about driving anywhere, upcoming appointments she has to attend, an event where she has a part to play. She worries about all of us kids: if we are safe, if we are healthy, have enough money and so on. I learnt very early on, not to tell Mum anything what was going on in my life so she doesn’t have something else to add to her worry list.
I like to think I don’t have any of those worry wort tendencies but I recognized Mum in myself when I saw her hesitating to phone Toyota to organise a car service. I too put off phoning people/services and I also don’t like driving.
Despite the initial feeling of restriction and lack of freedom with Mum’s daily routine (she has meals at a set time each day and also likes to do a household chore on a certain day), I adapted very easily to a different way of living. It felt safe and comfy to live with Mum…maybe too comfy because by the end of the three weeks when it is was time to leave, we were both teary when saying goodbye. I think I was also concerned that Mum is lonely on her own without Dad and that she had gotten used to someone ie me, living with her again.
Since staying with Mum, I’ve realised that I have an addiction to the Internet. I became antsy during the day when I can’t readily check email updates or my Etsy stats. I also feel unsettled if I can’t use itunes to download podcasts or access Google to look up any bright idea and inspirations. This is a big problem and I need to work on it.
I like to dish out advice but don’t always follow my own advice. Mum limps when she walks due to knee pain. Recently she has been having instances where the knee makes a noise and gives way. She has been avoiding getting it checked out. She doesn’t what to hear what might be recommended like a knee replacement. Mum keeps mentioning stories of people who have replacements done and not have had a good outcome. I have been hinting to Mum that the knee pain is not going to improve and that she is likely putting added weight and stress on the other knee due to the limping.
So I have been giving this advice to Mum but when it came to my own health I was also avoiding going to the doctor. I have been losing weight which I have put down to the stress of selling a home, finishing off work and needing to organise travel plans quick smart due to being homeless. Mum expressed concern about the weight loss and queried whether I have seen a doctor about it. Like Mum I was avoiding getting it checked out because I was concerned that it might not be due to stress and may be something more serious. I have since had blood tests, gone to see a GP in Meadow Springs and have an appointment to go back to find out the results.